It Only Takes a Drop
“A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump”
What do poison and words have in common? Both only take one time to do damage.
When harmful words are spoken they are like drops of poison saturating the soul.
And it only takes one demeaning word, one disrespectful attitude, one condescending look - one drop of poison to make a heart sick in an instant
Consider the word list below. And remember poison filled words are sneaky and are not always noticed right away. Often times it is our own conscience that offers up these words and their accompanying feelings after the poison has seeped into the bloodstream of hearts simply because we have been trained to accept the toxic words and behaviors as truth (when it is anything but!)
Repulsive
Failure
Unwanted
Ugly
Incapable
Unloved
Unworthy
Useless
Shameful
Just reading those words makes me feel sick! Just me?
For every drop of poison there are bags of IV fluid needed to undo the damage and so it is with words. For every one word of selfish hatefulness spoken the spirit of the one speaking and the one listening is contaminated. It doesn’t matter if the words are spoken with calculated intention or a fit of anger. Poison is poison whether administered or accidentally ingested - and it only takes a drop.
Many who carelessly weaponize words as poison dipped arrows meant to pierce and harm in the moment wonder why others don’t seem to move on from the incident as quickly. But can poison victims rebound to normal in hours? Can they just move on as if nothing happened? No! Harmful words must be flushed from the soul as much as poison must be flushed from a body. And some poisons leave a scar forever as do some words.
Having been poisoned by venom laden words (and to my regret sometimes been the poisoner), I am now acutely aware I must be equally careful about the words I speak as I am about the words spoken over me.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
What fruit do you want to grow and eat?
Below is a part A and part B protocol. Part A is focused on prevention and Part B is focused on recovery. These are just my personal reflections and thoughts I hope will help cultivate self-reflection, growth and healthier relating habits in the reader as they have for me.
PART A -
Consider the questions below. Let them spur you on to be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. It doesn’t mean truth isn’t hurtful or that we shouldn’t address hard things but there is a good and bad way to communicate.
1. Is what I am about to say INTENDED to inflict harm because I am angry, upset, frustrated, afraid, or feel cornered?
2. What will the lasting effects be if I say these words?
3. Will this cause my relationship to suffer permanent damage?
4. Are my words the kind I would want to hear spoken to me?
5. Is what was said to me truth spoken in love or lies spoken in hate?
6. Are the words I am hearing or about to speak convicting or CONDEMING? (Conviction stings like a correction whereas condemnation guilts and shames)
PART B -
But what of you who currently find yourselves suffering from the poison of harmful words? Here are the ways I personally get the IV of truth flowing!
1. Play a worship song that talks about your worth and TRUTH and what Jesus thinks of you (On repeat if need be). The Truth by Megan Woods is a great option
2. Pray and express to God all the pain you are feeling. Verbalizing the pain helps to validate the harm because abusers are good at guilt tripping people into believing the pain is just an “over reaction”. Which if left untreated causes a stuffing and repression that creates a breeding ground for bitterness, retaliation, victimhood and a host of other nasty habits and thoughts to form in the heart of the abused.
3. Allow yourself to cry and sit with the pain. Sounds awful but it is cleansing and helps the mind to sort the emotions. The best way I can put it is that it is like vomiting. It is messy and gross to violently discharge the offending drink/food but in the end you feel better. So it is when detoxing from the poison of toxic words. Don’t let them stay in your heart or mind. Release them so that healing can begin!!
4. Speak God’s truth out loud. Write it down on a card if needed and immediately begin stating it when you realize you have been verbally poisoned. Make the narrative of truth your habit. Because when we know the truth about who our God is that's where we build our immunity (what Ephesians 6 calls our shield of faith) against those hateful darts of poison.
I end this post with this scripture for consideration
“A word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
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